Communicating with children
This is something i would like to share with all of you. I've taken this after google about child parenting. This is a very good paper written by Peggy O. Harrelson. If you google her, she has written a lot about child development. Whenever I try to reason with my eldest daughter i would often reflect back on this. You don't have to thank me but thank her for the wonderful insight.
Communicating with Young Children
Peggy O. Harrelson, Extension Specialist, Child Development, Virginia State University
Communicating positively with young children helps them develop confidence, feelings of self‑worth, and good
relationships with others. It also helps make life with young children more pleasant for children and parents.
Positive communication focuses on respect for the child and involves both speaking and listening. Communication is what we say and how we say it. Positive communication leads to nurturing relationships, cooperation, and feelings of worth. Poor communication can lead to kids who “turn off” adults, conflicts and bickering, and feelings of worthlessness.
Adults sometimes have difficulty communicating positively with children when feelings are involved—
either their own or the child’s. There are ways for parents to improve their communication with children.
Positive communication focuses on respect for the child and involves both speaking and listening. Communication is what we say and how we say it. Positive communication leads to nurturing relationships, cooperation, and feelings of worth. Poor communication can lead to kids who “turn off” adults, conflicts and bickering, and feelings of worthlessness.
Adults sometimes have difficulty communicating positively with children when feelings are involved—
either their own or the child’s. There are ways for parents to improve their communication with children.
Get the child’s attention before speaking
Children can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Look directly at the‑child and call her name. A touch on the shoulder or taking her hand will help get her attention.Give her time to look at you before you start speaking. (Example: “Sarah.” Wait until she stops playing with the doll and looks at you.)
Communicate on the same level as the child
Communication is more effective if both people are on the same level. Adults need to stoop down to the child’s level or sit beside her. Making eye contact with the child lets her know that she has your attention and is much less intimidating to the child.
Speak as if you mean it
Make important requests firmly. Use a firm tone of voice without sounding angry or pleading. Tell the
child what you want her to do and why. Give clear, consistent instructions. Remember your body language.
It should show that you are serious and expect the child to comply. Say “Please,” “Thank you,” and “You’re welcome” to the child. Modeling appropriate behavior is one of the best ways to
get desired behavior from a child. Children also deserve the common courtesies that we, as adults, expect. Children are more likely to carry out desired behaviors when we add these courtesies. Nagging a child to say “please” or “thank you” sets a bad example. They are more likely to use courtesies if they are not constantly reminded.
child what you want her to do and why. Give clear, consistent instructions. Remember your body language.
It should show that you are serious and expect the child to comply. Say “Please,” “Thank you,” and “You’re welcome” to the child. Modeling appropriate behavior is one of the best ways to
get desired behavior from a child. Children also deserve the common courtesies that we, as adults, expect. Children are more likely to carry out desired behaviors when we add these courtesies. Nagging a child to say “please” or “thank you” sets a bad example. They are more likely to use courtesies if they are not constantly reminded.
Make requests simple
Too many requests are confusing for a young child to remember. Make sure that your requests are short, clear and consistent. Laughing at a behavior one time and reacting angrily another sends the child a contradictory message.
Too many requests are confusing for a young child to remember. Make sure that your requests are short, clear and consistent. Laughing at a behavior one time and reacting angrily another sends the child a contradictory message.
Use more positive direction than negative
Positive communication with children uses more “Do’s” than “Don’ts.” In other words, tell the child what to do rather than what not to do. Children respond much quicker to positive demands than negative ones. Allow children to make choices when possible. They are more likely to show appropriate behavior when they have some control over their actions.
Talk with ‑ not at ‑ children
Adults should communicate with children with the respect and consideration they give their friends. Sometimes, adults spend so much time talking “to” the child that they neglect the listening part of communication. Talking with children lets them know that not only do we have something to tell them, but that we are also willing to listen to what they have to say
Adults should communicate with children with the respect and consideration they give their friends. Sometimes, adults spend so much time talking “to” the child that they neglect the listening part of communication. Talking with children lets them know that not only do we have something to tell them, but that we are also willing to listen to what they have to say
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